jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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