And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
