It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
