Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
