so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Shame - the story of my life.
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