just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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