Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
