He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize