I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
