if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
