im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
