:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
