The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
