oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
