i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
