so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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