And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
BRING THE BAGELS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
