Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
