I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
