How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There r osticjed everywhere
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
