if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
why does every cop we meet know your name?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
