Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
