I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
