Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
