What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
