you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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