no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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