both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
