you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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