I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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