One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize