After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
