what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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