as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
