So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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