In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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