If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Randomize
