I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize