im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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