Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
