Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
