Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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