thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
