I think im going to throw up on grandma
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
