im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
