wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
