.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
