no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
