Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
