all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
