A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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