He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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