Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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