Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
