After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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