We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize