kristin has been a bad kristin
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
