Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
