Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize