the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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