p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
