so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
