She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
