you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
