If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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