At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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