I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
